A list of areas I think about on a daily basis that I would like to improve:
- Learning basic Thai phrases: I live in the country. I enjoy learning languages. No excuses.
- Swimming strokes: My preferred method of exercise, yet I actually have no idea what I am doing. Every time I have swum for the past few years I think about wanting to learn the actual strokes. It would just take a quick google search.
- Mindfulness: Requires ongoing attention.
- Reading: I have this burning desire to read more; to read more of everything. Fiction, non fiction, kids books, scientific books. I want to read more. I think about this daily.
- Cooking: Sometimes I actually enjoy cooking, but most of the time it stresses me out. Thinking about what to make, going to get the ingredients, and then worrying about what people will think of it is just overwhelming. The actual cooking part I sometimes enjoy. When there's no pressure...
- Furthering education: Master's in Teaching English Language Learners is what I'm thinking. Although if I could find a Master's degree in RTI, that would be more appealing.
- Exercise: The research is out there and I know from experience: I feel better when I exercise. However, I still struggle to fit it in to my day.
- Meditation: I have had some pretty decent streaks. Just like physical exercise, I feel better when I exercise my mind with meditation. Much better.
- Vocabulary: I have a couple of apps that I use to build my vocabulary. For the last few years I have had a major inferiority complex about the level of vocabulary I use. I want to improve it for myself. I'm over caring what people think about my vocabulary. I just honestly enjoy learning new words and would like to challenge myself to use them.
- Organizing: I am actually obsessed with organizing and I would like for every drawer and every inch of my house to be organized at all times. Honestly, I would like to do this for fun in my spare time. Wait...spare time?
In conclusion, if all of these things occur to me on the daily and I know the importance of them, why aren't I doing them? This is what I ask myself daily. My only answer: not enough time. I HATE THAT ANSWER! Seems such a lame excuse. No one wants to hear, "Oh I meant to but I just don't have time..." Bla bla bla. So I'm in this constant cycle: Think of ways to improve. Attempt one or two but don't follow through with any. Remember that I haven't followed through with any. Feel bad. Then feel lame for blaming time.
We all have the same amount of time (on a daily basis- if we're alive) and we all get to choose what we do with it. Maybe I need to focus on all the things I am doing with my time. Maybe that is the answer. Maybe the first year of being a parent just isn't the season for reinforcing all of these skills. Maybe I am learning enough new skills being a mom. And maybe...I should enjoy all those moments rather than focusing on all the things I'm not doing. I have been feeling sort of an inkling lately...that maybe these unproductive moments in my day...maybe that's what it's all about.
| Celebrating Loi Krathong yesterday under a full moon |
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